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November 2009 
Greet each day with openness
Posted on Aug 18th, 2009
by 
Terrill
Terrill
Today is my first time on Gaia since my partner David had a severe stroke a week ago Sunday, August 9, 2009.
David has begun his recovery but it will be a long process.
Yesterday when I arrived David was eating breakfast by himself (under supervision). I was greeted by one of his big beautiful smiles.
Later on in the morning two physiotherapy people came by and helped him sit on the edge of the bed, then stand up and walk sideways a few steps. They would have taken him for a walk but didn't have an order approved from the Doctor to do so. He will be moving to the 5th floor on the north tower very soon - like maybe tomorrow. This is the rehab floor. He is talking more but sometimes the words don't come out right. He is still a bit confused about dates, names and places. However, it was a good day and he ate a big supper while 3 of his children and I kept him company.
We have a long healing process ahead of us but we are on our way. Here is a video that David and I watched about six weeks ago that does a great job of telling the stroke story. Though each person is unique this is the kind of stroke David had though his is not operable and will need to heal on its own. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.
warm hugs and thank you again to everyone for their kind words, wishes, prayers and reiki.
with openness and gratitude
Terrilll
Access: Public
Terrill - I am holding Light (heart-based intent) for David. Asking that he be bathed in restorative blessings.
Thanks Laurie - that is what I am doing too… and giving him lots of hugs and love.
light and love to you both, glad to hear he is steadily recovering. Hugs
Nicole - thank you so much for stopping by. Terrill has asked me to respond to her friends who visit here as her on-line time is extremely limited. Please know that as I receive word, I will pass it along.
Terrill and David… thank you so much for this post and your beautiful letter, and please know that we're all sending love and support and all the healing energy we can. Please let us know as (and if you can!) your journey together continues–and for now, here's a huge serving of heart-food to nourish you both. You're so very loved.
Siona - Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a kind message of support and encouragement.
Friends - Pleaase know that Terrill is reading and appreciating this discussion thread as the windows of opportunity present themselves, even if she can't reply to each one.
Thinking of you Terrill and David and wishing you best in the recovery process. I am stroke survivor myself and know the difficulties from a survivor's point of view. If I can be of any help in helping you understand what is happening, pleased let me know. It is very confusing when the words don't come out right or look right, when the brain no longer processes information in the same way. But, you can see how well Jill Bolte did in recovering. I was told to keep trying because new neural pathways might be created, or old ones would learn to do new tricks. Sure there is a lot of frustration, but keep thinking positively –and know that we care about you. ((hugs))
Laurie, how wonderful that you can be there for Terrill in this way! Hugs to all of you.
Terrill and David, sending love, healing energy and strength to get through this, as Mimi said don't give up, a lot is possible. Terrill, be prepared for emotional ups and downs, tears and laughter, a stroke can make one quite emotionally labile for a while, this is normal and will lessen as time goes by. You are both in my prayers.
Mimi, Nicole & Gael - Thank you so much for stopping by. I know that Terrill will be uplifted when she reads your heart-based comments and shares them with David.
Please know that she is receiving them – and being encouraged by them – even though she may not have the opportunity to respond.
Thanks everyone - I have a small window for a few minutes in the morning to be on-line and then again in the evening. Reading your words warms my heart and spirit. David went for an escorted walk yesterday around the 6th floor. It was so exciting. His confusion (some of which I think is from the swelling) is getting less. Sometimes he speaks very clearly - like suggesting maybe he should come home with me or could I leave the side-rail down on the bed when I leave. Other times I have to really relax my mind to be able to understand because David has a very large vocabulary so when he opens up a mental drawer looking for a word there are a lot to choose from - and he seems to be choosing the biggest ones.
I have noticed that he really enjoys meals with all of their containers, different shapes and contents. Yesterday we had a lot of fun together while he decided what to eat and in what order. There is something magical about seeing our thinking process so purposeful and visible. My first training is in early childhood education and I always enjoyed this learning and experiential process with children. So this morning I thought. “how can I create something fun that is not too taxing and would be just right for David.” I have come up with something and will let you know if he liked it tonight.
Please keep writing and sharing ideas and thoughts - it is very energizing at a time when I only have enough for David and me. Even if you are just writing to each other - it gives me one place I can go and be immediately connected to my Gaia community.
much love Terrill
Terrill - you have my utmost respect. You are definitely a person who makes lemonade out of lemons – positive, uplifting, constructive and healing!
Holding Light (heart-based intent) for you and yours.
Sending David abundance of light and prayers to a rapid recovery. Our lives have been richly blessed by your writings Terrill. You touch so many and I know your touch to him has that warm healing sense as pure and strong. I hold you in my thoughts and keep the Power of Light going with its radiant beams. much love & respect, Kathy
Hi Terrill,
It sounds like David is in good hands. After brain injury, the brain really needs to rest and recuperate from the trauma, while relearning too.. I often talked about the drawers too. I think it is too hard for David to string a lot of small words together in the proper order, so he goes for one big one (a concept)that might do the trick. There is always a problem with Order of Operation - whether it is physical, verbal, or mental.
People can still do some of the things they did before, but have a hard time learning new stuff, or how to do the things the damaged area handled.
The drawers just won't open to let the new information/process in.
A lot of pressure can be taken off the person just by pointing or gestures to communicate - like rather than saying “put your shoes on” just point to the shoes and gesture the action.
One of the worst things is when people ask stroke survivors a question It is very difficult for the person - because this is about a 5 stage process, not automatic.
PS –I am writing some chapters for a book to be published about Brain Injury Survivors' Stories. This is will a very important learning tool - told by the survivors, not the [point of view people who did or were supposed to help them.
All the best to the 2 of you ((giant hugs)) and lots of love too.
Terrill… it's beautiful to see your face on here again, and I'm so deeply thankful to you for keeping us updated on your process and David's. Again, I feel honored and touched to witness this, and honored to hold you both in my heart. Unlike lovely mimi (mimi thank you so much!) I can't share much wisdom or experience, but I can send all the love I have, and will promise to keep checking in and sending light. David will be radiant by the time we're through. :)
Hi Terrill.
All my thoughts are with you and David. You are such a wonderfully strong being. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Dear Terrill, I'm holding you and David in my heart at this time where you are taking one step at a time and everything as you knew it has changed. You are doing great work Terrill and it's wonderful to see your Gaia family rallying around you
Hi Terrill ~ I wish a smooth unencumbered recovery. You are such an angel for all you do here and in life leading the way. You are in my thoughts of being healed.
Hi Terrill,
I pray for a quick recovery. I know, from my first hand experience, that GOD IS KIND.
In loving Light
Eli
Holding you and David in “heart space” - may you both receive every help possible and may angelic wings enfold you..
loving thoughts surround you both
Hugz>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Tai
Terrill,
Know that I will be sending Reiki to you both for any healing you may need in the next few weeks… Just set your intention to receive… and it shall be there for you both…
Hugs..
I am Love, Jeff
Terrill. Sending so much love your way. My own 'David' and I have two dear friends who had strokes, and both of these men have recovered to a degree that their doctors said was impossible. One is a bodyworker and healer. I had sessions from him before and after the stroke, the ones from him after were so deep and profound, a quantum leap from 'before'. The other thought he'd never be able to play guitar again. He is. We love the Jill Bolte Taylor talk, and have her book “My Stroke of Insight”. We'll be thinking of you both. I also wanted to say I hope you are you having some time and care for yourself.. (eg massage?). It's easy to forget when it seems the other needs all the care. In some ways those who are in the 'caring' position have the hardest time. I've been on both sides, and I'd have to say this is true for me.
Hugs, many of them.
I am holding you and David in my heart and hoping that David has a quick recovery.
Dearest Terrill, sending healing light, hugs and lots of shimmering light seeds to make their healing way into David, for the highest good of all concerned. Thank you for keeping us updated, and for your energizing presence on Gaia.
Oh, Terrill. What a huge opportunity for both of you, and indeed all involved. I too am sending to you both, and all, extra light and love of healing, wellness, well-being, and the full use of the opportunities for growth, for expansion, for gaining of wisdom, for realizing more of who you are.
David is fortunate to have your healing, loving, support, and as others here have done, I urge you to care for the caretaker, giving yourself loving support so you can continue to be in joyful service.
Do let me and us know how else we might be helpful in your situation. We're here for you.
In the Love We Are,
OM Bastet
I forgot to say special Thanks to Laurie for all her support and help in this situation.
Love, OM
Terrill, Thank you for sharing this experience and thanks to Laurie for being the go between so we feel we can send our thoughts without taxing you. I'm glad to know that David is doing well. It seems you are aware of the need to take care of yourself as well. Blessings to you both and to all those involved in this process of life.
Terrill - In reading through all of the heart-based intent that is being directed toward David, Siona's words sum it up wonderfully:
“David will be radiant by the time we're through!”
Darling, Darling Terrill,
I sit with you and send Love and Light to bathe you and David in Radiant Healing Vibes…I see a full recovery, yes I do. I've already seen them. It's slow going but with work he'll regain all his faculties. In the meantime, enjoy the childlike wonder, awe and being in the moment :)
There is always a positive and a Gift for All of Us :)
You are so very Loved and Supported~~<
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
Oh, Terrill! May the warm bread of nurturing hearth, and the sweet heart of honey, be the symbolic prayer of very real and very deep wishes of wellness for David and for you.
Blessings of healing,
Nahnni
Terrill -
I am sending love and light to you and David. I am thankful to have witnessed medical miracles in my life and know without doubt what is possible even as the doctors have shaken their heads. Here too, I have no doubt… especially with the light that your dear, dear Gaia friends are streaming your way. I see you both gently held by pure love.
How fortunate David is to have you by his side!
Infinite blessings,
Katrina
Dear Terrill, and hello Laurie,
I have to agree with Katrina, there are many pathways in the brain and when one becomes damaged gentle persistant persuasion using other pathways can create great change and healing.
I worked for many years with brain injured people in an alternative health practice. I also worked with children with disabilities. I have experienced miraculous healing personally.
I now work in mainstream health and know that doctors are usually conservative in their estimates of healing for their patients because they dont want to raise false hope. They fail to understand the value and importance of expectation.
I am sending you both reiki coupled with the knowledge and expectation that healing will occur.
I am fairly new here and yours was the first entry I came to. I am honored to know of your journey. I will hold a space of love and light for you. Blessings, Ronnie
Dear Terrill..
Sending love and healing prayers to your husband David..Having nursed a loved one 5yrs ago who suffered a stroke I know how it can feel..a sudden change in life and the docs said the recovery could be slow and to prepare for the long haul..However he was walking after a week..home within four weeks and returning to work after three months..I know this is a blessing..some say a medical miracle taking into account how very ill he was..I believe it was a miracle..also he said afterwards he never doubted he would recover..he knew he would heal..return to life..although it took a longer time to re-discover certain things and become the new self..
The fatigue and frustration did set in at times..patience..care and space were all required for a while..however I am so thankful for the grace and wonder of that divine well being that flows through us all…I give thanks for all the moments when small steps..words..movements felt like mountains were moved….I give thanks for words of comfort and reminders from others that this to shall pass..Now a remembering and connecting to a ever present knowing that each experience is truly perfect..however painful..seemingly difficult…for everyone was..is.. somehow transformed..changed by the ' stroke '
I pray for David..In knowing he is surrounded by so much loving intention..Well being and support..Each cell and each smile is affirming his beautiful expression in light..in joy..in well being..
May you know an abundance of support..love..peace and perfect connection to that ever present being now..
May each light step become clear..in gentle healing and wonder-filled gratitude for Davids moment by moment well being..
Blessings to David to you and all your family & loved ones..
You are in my heart..prayers and thoughts..
Love
Ange..
Dear Terrill and David…my heart if full with both of you and in my mind you are wrapped in golden light,may the healing come in this experience you both are having. My love and healing thoughts to David, I send you strength Terrill, and peace…Waterheart
sending love and healing to you both xo
Loving thoughts are surrounding and supporting you and David, Terrill. I'm so moved by your experience and by the outpouring of love, understanding and positive expectancy in this thread.
Thank you all for your open hearted and sharing…it's powerful, uplifting and healing on so many levels.
Wow! Thank you everyone… so beautiful to read all your thoughts, sharing, prayers and words of wisdom.
Well, my idea worked though by this morning he had moved on to yet another stretch towards wellness. I had taken different sized recycled food containers and put something different in each one for him to examine. There was a small branch from the limb of a cedar tree and a piece of a lavender plant in one (both smell wonderful), a yellow dahlia in another (complete with water), a fir cone in another, and a wine cork with a printed grape design in the last one. I asked him to choose which one to open until we had them all open and had placed the contents in a small dish of water. The fir cone and the flower were the biggest hit but the wine cork came in third.
The IV came out today - Yeah!
I read from The Beach House by Jane Green twice for about 20 minutes each time (something he really enjoyed as this is a common practice for us to read to each other). The story is wonderfully descriptive and he laughed at all the funny parts. The second time I was reading I stumbled over a word and tried to sound it out (not uncommon as I'm dyslexic). He leaned over and turned the book as he always does and when I pointed to the word and said it again I got it right and he nodded and laid back down to listen.
I also did a couple of bed to wheelchair transfers with him and we even escaped outside for half an hour. We also let him take many long naps in between.
David is an amazing man and I feel so grateful that he is part of my life. This is a good place to share a paragraph from Jill Bolte Taylor's book My Stroke of Insight that Sandra mentioned… from page 128
Taking care of me… I seem to need about as many breaks as David does to process all the changes we are experiencing every hour all day long. I take these breaks… and I often take them outside. I also went picking blackberries right by the hospital today. Picking berries is a wonderfully integrating practice for me that I love doing. This weekend and most weekends I will return home to Mayne Island and gather my own energy and inner strength. I also like to walk lots and I'm considering a yoga class if I can find one that will fit with my schedule.
So there it is… and thank you, thank you for being part of our journey.
Terrill (and David)
Thank you Terrill for trusting us enough to openly share your experiences. I feel really moved at being a part of this. Feeling the love surrounding you and adding my little bit.
hugs Jenny
sweet Terrill, here is a poem to light your day with your beloved:
La Vita Nuova
In that book which is
My memory …
On the first page
That is the chapter when
I first met you
Appear the words …
Here begins a new life
- Dante Alighieri
Friends - I know that Terrill's heart is full – bursting at the seams – from the outpouring of love, encouragement and heart-based intent that is being directed to her and David.
Nicole - the poem you just posted is absolutely lovely.
Wow, this post fills my heart with sadness and yet also gratitude. I hope David's recovery is swift and complete. Terrill, you have my energetic support. Namaste.
Today, I brought David a lovely variegated coloured leaf from a maple tree to examine. David walked around the 6th floor with only stand by assist. He had another CT scan but I have not heard the results. Another Dr. came by to do David's assessment for the rehab floor (5th North) and he will go there as soon as a bed is available - likely Monday. All is good and we are moving forward - the road looks long… however we only need to know the next step.
I managed to find some plain yoghurt for breakfast and then I took it across the road from the hospital and kept topping it up with fresh blackberries - hot and juicy from the morning sun. I also went for a late lunch with my friend BJ from Pedder Bay.
I finished reading another chapter of The Beach House to David in the afternoon. When he had finished Dinner I asked if he wanted to go check out what the nurses where doing at the nurses station (right outside his room) He looked at me and instead of answering “yes” or “no” replied “not exactly.” So we watched the shadows from the fir trees lengthen on the far wall of the hospital wing for awhile. Then it was time for me to say good night.
What a precious journey this is, Terrill. The love you share melts my heart
“… the road looks long… however we only need to know the next step.” Terrill, you are a woman of wisdom.
One step at a time, one day at a time.
Here is a link with an excerpt to a wonderful book by Floyd Skloot “In the Shadow of Memory”. When I had my injury, I read this(after 2 yrs of recovery) and was shocked to find he was describing what I was experiencing perfectly.
This is an important piece that helps everyone understand the difficulty of processing information, the problems of overstimulation, short term memory loss, loss of balance etc.
http://www.lostmag.com/issue3/grayarea.php
Keeping you both in my heart and wishing you well. Things move very slowly, but they can move forward, one step at a time, trying new ways. It takes a long time to re-learn some skills. It took me 4 years to make my morning coffee semi-automatically. Today, I am about 80%……..more operational..and definitely better - a better person than before.
Holding this thought in my heart for both of you.
Terrill & David -
Namaste'
Recognizing the Divinity within each of you.
Honoring the Divinity within each of you.
You're listening with your hearts.
My friends made this short STRUCK that is worth watching
came over to wish some more healing vibes. Love you!
Here is a short update from David's daughter following their visit last evening after I had left to come home to Mayne Island.
Every time I see him, he looks better and I wonder if I just remember things as being not as good as they really are … or, maybe it's just that he really does look different.
We talked a bit about him walking and the things he had done today and during the week. Then we spent a long time talking about what it's like for him and what he went through. Dad said that it's a strange feeling to not really remember what happened, how he got to the hospital, how long he's been there, and that kind of thing. We reminded him that he was actually sleeping and resting for a lot of that time, so it's not a big surprise that he doesn't remember much … there wasn't much to remember. He did talk about how the IV (“I-dropper”) and oxygen plug and so on bothered him and he tried to get rid of it. But mostly he talked about how weird it is in his head, to have some connections to things and among things, but everything else is disjointed and kinda random. He said that some things are starting to coalesce (his word, of course!), but a lot isn't.
By the time 8 rolled around, he was pretty tired, not surprisingly. We thought we had talked him into a bathroom trip before going to sleep for the night, but when he got up and got walking, he went past the bathroom, to the door, where he paused a bit and actually got rather “wobbly” on his right side. The nurse asked him what he was doing and he said, “Oh, I'm just saying goodnight to my babies.”
I want to add that David shaved himself on Friday morning with the supervision of Cory - the occupational therapist. I was told he did it smoothly and with out a hitch. As you can imagine (and some of you are more intimately aware) this takes a fair bit of dexterity to do without cutting yourself.
Last night was hard coming home without David but this morning I am feeling better and will putter my way through a few chores and go to the bakery for breakfast and then to the farmers market and grocery store to get food for the weekend. I really appreciate knowing that three if David's four children are keeping David company and that he won't get too lonely until I get back.
A doe and fawn were in the yard when I arrived home and they had eaten everything that hadn't dried out from lack of watering. So one of my tasked today is to empty planters. Somehow it really doesn't matter in the grand picture of things. I could really careless at the moment. There are just so many more important things to think about.
My father had a brain tumor removed 3 years ago. It took him a little while to recover but he is good now. The thing he commented on was that he realised the importance of family and affection. He had been quite emotionally controlled before this event. Since then he is more open and affectionate and generally more interesting to be around, he allows himself to cry now where before that wasnt a “manly” thing to do. I'm not suggesting your experience will be the same but its just interestiing how life has a habit of creating change and sometimes what seems bad turns out good or not so bad. Sendng you and your family love during this time of change.
Terrill, I'm glad to hear of today's update. I saw this on animal spirit;
in case it resonates.
Deer/Hart's Wisdom Includes:
Gentleness in word, thought and touch Ability to listen Grace and appreciation for the beauty of balance Understanding of what's necessary for survival Power of gratitude and giving Ability to sacrifice for the higher good Connection to the woodland goddess Alternative paths to a goal
Thank you for the updates…know that loving and supportive thoughts are surrounding you and David and you continue to travel this path together.
Terrill - If I'm not mistaken, you took this weekend at home to recharge your personal battery. I hope that you are refreshed and ready for the week ahead. I know that your smile carries sunshine to David when you visit. And his fills your heart with joy.
Holding sacred healing space for you both.
holding you, David and family in my heart
Blessings of recovery and health to David and yourself, Terrill. I've just checked in and found this very supportive thread here. I did see that video last year; the one about the scientist documenting her own stroke. My mother suffered from several strokes over five years ago and had a stent put in to try to prevent the next one. She is in a different US state than I am, and I only get to see her on a yearly basis. Balance is out of whack for her. She also confuses words, or can't find the word she wants at all.
You will be his mental walking cane; his strong tower; his support and liason to the world. Blessings!
Jessica, your mention of not finding words reminds me of a remarkable fellow I once knew. He stuttered on initial S and F words, so he had programmed his subconscious to avoid those words, and as a listener, one wouldn't notice this at all. He seemed to talk perfectly normally; his subconscious always found good substitute words.
Continued Light and blessings to you and David and everyone involved, Terrill.
OM Bastet
Thinking of you and David this morning, Terrill.
Hi everyone,
Yes I did go to Mayne Island on Friday evening and returned Monday morning to Victoria. Sometimes it was very hard being there and yet it was equally tranquil and sustaining. A colleague offered a massage and energy session that I accepted for Sunday. I went for long walks and chased the deer out of the garden before finally giving in and letting them sleep on the lawn. Our close friends invited me for a fresh seafood dinner that was divine. I was also given a silver goddess pendent with a moon stone to wear while David is healing.
David and I have now been told by many of the Dr.s and specialist that recovery is usually very good from this type of stroke - if you survive the initial stroke… which he has:)
Yesterday David and I had a very good day….
One thing that is happening right now is that David sometimes doesn't remember what comes next or remember what will make something easier … combined with some short-term memory lose. So though he has been using a spoon for a week to eat - today when eating his squished soupy peaches, he chose his fork (he was upgraded to chunking food today) and used his spoon for his now- NOT-thickened milk… even though this was right after having a sip of tea directly from the tea cup. I gently suggested that he could drink the milk. He missed my tip until I offered it again with hand signals that went with the suggestion. He then looked at me and smiled saying “good idea!” I also made some tasked today simply part of our day rather than a request. And sometimes I offered choices that were both a step in the direction I wanted him to go. For example, should we play with the sphere puzzle before or after we go for a walk?
They are taking way to long to get David into the rehab for my liking. He has been on the waitlist since last Thursday. The program is 8 weeks long but people stay shorter and longer amounts of time depending on their needs. I was told today that it can take up to a week to get him in… so I decided we are not waiting. We are just going to get started using what I know about David, my early childhood background and the years I worked for home support helping people with various temporary and perminent brain challenges. Just so you don't panic, I'm talking to the nurses and physiotherapist about what I'm doing and they said - “wow that is great!” However, they do not have the time to introduce and do these things with David… and now is the time because we have to catch those little neorons of his before they run off to do other things because they think that they are not needed any more for remembering things and the order of things.
Highlights of today:
Three walks around the floor, a shower, and a trip outside in the wheelchair to get his hat from the truck and watch the rabbits in the back parking lot.
David put the toothpaste directly on his tooth brush; put his socks and shoes on - including tying them up without being prompted. I also assisted him to have a shower and then I stood with him while he shaved - very successfully.
I brought David a feather that I found by the truck this morning on Mayne Island and when he pretended to write with it I handed him a note book and paper and he started writing (leaving a simple line for the date which is still a mystery to him… along with peoples' names - including mine until I tell him and then he laughs at me as if I am being way to silly saying “hi, I'm Terrill” - because of course he knws it is me). I could make out most of the words he wrote in a lovely straight handwriting and some of it is in sentences. He had a great time doing it.
We played off and on with the wooden sphere puzzle all day - at first he took it a part and I put it together and then we got so we would switch it up. Great puzzle to work with because it spins when it is all put together. We also played with a hexagon piece puzzle that has three coloured lines on it on one side and is blank on the other side. You can put it together in different patterns by matching the colours - think it is called Trix or something. By playing this game I know that David can see colour. I have a few other treasures that I found at home that we will be able to explore over the week.
I also started doing some cross meridian work with David using some simple hand arm shoulder exercises that can be done in pairs. The idea behind this game (I made up) is that we can strengthen our mental process through crossing our body meridian in our physical movements. How I explained it to David is that I thought it might help his left and right brain to start talking to each other again. To be really honest if I had him at home or could take him to a peaceful gym I would have him crawling on all fours - even though he can walk… I have a hunch that crawling would do wonders to help him regain his centredness and begin regaining and integrating his thought process.
In between activities David rests but doesn't sleep as much. He is also asking a lot more questions about what happened, how long he has been in the hospital, where I am stay and how I am doing.
If anyone has any other thoughts ideas or experiences - they are most welcome to share.
Well that is about all for now…
For those of you that are into imagining David better it may be helpful to imagine figure eights connecting both halves of his brain.
Thinking of you too and sending metta prayers. It is a difficult time for all involved. The stroke victim is still the same inside and is very confused because nothing works right. I wrote an article for the Brain Injury Assoc. called “Where is the Instruction Manual for My Brain?” which I will send to you in a message.
One of the worst things I experienced initially was I could not figure out how to put on my clothes. I could not figure out front/back/top/bottom or how to then get it on. Even though I could identify the front of the button shirt, I had to turn it over when I put it on to get the buttons in the front. (like reverse or mirror image - this can be a huge problem) It used to take me at least 45 mins. to put on shirt, pants, undies, socks. I remember the frustration because I was expending so much energy trying to power up my brain to figure it out. This explains why the doc sent an occupational therapist to teach me “energy saving tips”. Everything one can't do automatically takes 6 times the energy to just figure out when you've had a stroke. . That is why people become exhausted and need to rest. Healing is a long process that takes a lot of patience, and right therapy- physio, occupational, speech, etc.
Luckily, I live in a country with universal health care and didn't pay a single penny for any treatment. ;>) Therapists came to my home to treat me.
Wishing you strength, patience, determination, to get through this trying time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. (((hugs))
Wow, how serendipitous is that, Terrill, that you know about cross-meridian stuff and early childhood stuff!! (I was in that field for a long time, myself.)
Since you didn't mention it by name, perhaps you don't know this is “Brain Gym” stuff, those are the folks who popularized what Glenn Doman? Dolman? invented to help I think it was brain-injured children, or some such. I used to study and use it with myself and kids.
Anyway, it's extraordinarily powerful for everyone, we could all benefit from it, and particularly appropriate in your situation. So go for it; it's easy to invent exercises once you have the principle, so you don't need to study, but here is the official website in case you want to have a look: http://www.braingym.org/
Thank you for your report; I felt as if I were a friend right there in the situation. So glad you had such a great break, and that recovery is going so well.
Much love,
OM
short term memory loss is a huge problem –even taking your eyes off an object momentarily, so i am not surprised that he misued the fork and spoon. Each moment can be NEW. If I had tea and had to get some sugar out of the cupboard, in the few steps away from the tea, I would have no idea why I was walking (to get something… but what? from where?why?
I WOULD LOOK BACK BEHIND ME, to see if I could re-construct –spot a familiar object that would give me a clue to what I was after. Every time my gaze shifted, the previous thing would be forgotten. I did teach myself some coping techniques that I use even 9 years later to help me focus. I will be writing some of these in chapters of a book to be produced by a Brain Injury Assoc.
Here's a technique that I made up for myself.
1. Speak the word of the object I want -“Sugar”. This gives a person an additional sense “hearing” to help them remember object.
2. Point in the direction of the location of object - cupboard (sugar is in cupboard)
3. Wag your finger (near nose level) as you point in the direction. Wagging finger helps keep you focused so you don't look at other objects and get sidetracked..
I read an article recently that said moving your hands helps your mental processing. If you get stuck, wave your hand slowly in some pattern that feels right. I'm sure you know you yourself do it when talking - you use gestures when you're trying to explain something.
I gesture (wave hand(s) in front of my face all day - it helps me focus, and to gather my thoughts, or clear my jumbled thoughts so I can start again. . Sometimes, I make some sound along with it as my body and thoughts try to re-align. I have told all my friends “yes, I'm alright,. I gesture to help me re-focus.
I hope some of this information will be helpful to both you and David in his recovery. ((((hugs)))
Terrill, joining you in visualizing those figure-8 connections, infinity symbols for David's brain. Such wonderful and informative posts here.
[I'm mentioning the link on my status - hope that's ok]
Even though not directly involved, I find myself in deep appreciation of all the sharings and wishes here, and mimi, we are ALL so lucky you are here to share your unique and valuable perspectives and tips. These glimpses from the “inside” that David can't share yet, are precious, and from the perspective of 9 years later, so very reassuring, to me and I hope to Terrill.
Terrill, if you have the energy to answer this: Did David have any “risk factors” for stroke? Was it the clot kind or the bleeding kind? Were there any warning signs at all? I don't recall that you have mentioned these things. If there were risk factors, then I know his therapy will emphasize minimizing those in the future!!
I'm going to try to copy-paste here a golden glowing infinity sign. It's on page 8 of my photo gallery. A larger version is visible here. I am recalling now that even looking at such a thing helps the cross-hemisphere connections. Even looking at a giant X on paper, does. I did that for years. You could put that on the ceiling of David's room?? Or on his tray?? Or on the wall across from the foot of his bed?? (Or all the above!!)
(Didn't seem to work.)
Blessings, OM
Standing in the infinite with you.
Terrill, recent research shows that playing Davids favourite music can help cognitive function and lift mood, and might be useful esp when you are taking a break to keep him stimulated. It sounds like you are both doing very well,
here is a link
http://www.disaboom.com/Health/stroke/Research/music-aids-stroke-recovery.aspx
You are both still in my prayers
I'm thrilled to know that, Zephyr. Waycool!!
And am reminded that the brain is something like 18% one of the essential fatty acids, DHA, which can be purchased as a supplement. Not sure it's relevant.
And there might be supplements specific to nerve regeneration, too…..
<3
OM
Oh yes, and useful info here too,
http://www.stroke.org.uk/information/index.html
Terrill - You can't possibly miss the fact that you and David are cherished here in Gaia Community!
“I also started doing some cross meridian work with David …” Wonderful! And remember to BRUSH DAVID'S HAIR (100 strokes in the morning – 50 backward from the forehead to the neck; and then 50 backward from the neck to the forehead). Do this in the morning and again in the evening. Even if you don't know Cranial Therapy, by default you will apply pressure to the suture lines on his scalp ('seams' where the plates of the skull meet). This releases endorphins, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin – natural healing chemicals that are produced by the brain.
Another exercise that moves the hemispheres of the brain from lateral to cross-lateral is to 'pedal' the right hand in a forward circle, while simultaneously 'pedaling' the left hand in a backwards circle. You can do this with and/or for David.
Like Pooh, I am think, think, thinking about you and David.
Laurie - This is miracle advice. Who'd ever thought brushing hair has benefits to Cranial Therapy but it sure makes sense. I wondered if this works with anyone as a healthy theory to practice.
Terrill - Thank you for the briefing and for nurturing yourself over the weekend. Sending you & David the light for infinity Θ
http://www.dharmathecatcartoons.com/ gave me giggles, so I send it forward to you to share.
this is such a precious journey - thank you so much for sharing
Franciscan Blessing
May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in this world,
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
Thanks everyone for your valuable and unique contributions. I feel so fortunate to be a member of our Gaia community.
I only have a few minutes but wanted you to know that David read to me (at his initiative) from on of our favourite books “Lake Wobegon Days” by Garrison Keillor. He is starting to think maybe he doesn't need to be in the hospital because there is only three things he needs to work on - when he proceeded to tell me what they were, he could remember one of them. Though this is frustrating for him, I am pleased because it means his left brain is trying to get into the act and do some problem-solving.
Risk factors: Since I met David on September 20th 2001 he has been managing the risk factors related to his high blood pressure. From 1998-1999 he had been on blood-pressure medication. In consultation with his doctor, he made major life-style changes in diet, exercise and work which brought his blood-pressure down to an acceptable level to stop taking the blood-pressure medication. He has since then monitored his blood-pressure and went for regular physical examinations. His mother had high blood-pressure, and two sister also have high blood pressure. David ate well, exercised regularly and kept his environment calm and monitored his blood pressure (we had a machine at home). The only thing he was reluctant to do is to take blood pressure medication.
The type of stroke David had is not as common. It was a bleeding stroke deep in the left side of his brain. It was a large bleed and not operable. The neurosurgeon actually took the time to show me the first CT scan and explained that the the situation was grave. Most people do not survive the kind and severity of stroke David had. But the Dr. said if he did survive the initial trauma and swelling of the brain,his recovery expectations were good. The doctor was cautiously optimistic that David would walk out of the hospital under his own power.
So here we are - well down the road to recover. Having said that, I have also been told by the rehab Dr. that once you have one stroke there is always a greater risk of having another stroke.
Well must run… and thank you, thank you everyone.
Thank you for the update and info, Terrill. Keep on keeping on, so beautifully!!!
Having heard all that, what I'd suggest is to start researching the nutrients/herbs that strengthen the walls of blood vessels. There are a bunch, perhaps the most famous being the bioflavonoids. I think such an approach could really make a difference.
Hugs, OM
It is truly amazing to witness as the Universe/God and lots of dear friends conspire to make sure your David (and you) are well and whole. Thank you for sharing your experiences Terrill. Several times your entries have brought tears to my eyes. If everyone who ever became ill had someone as caring and wise and loving as you by their side, the hospital would be empty. Many blessings to you and David. I am sure he will recover beautifully and bring a new appreciation to both of your lives. In infinite peace, Katrina
Katrina - “If everyone who ever became ill had someone as caring and wise and loving as you by their side, the hospital would be empty.”
What a beautiful gift to give Terrill.
Terrill - GREAT segue OM! You make an excellent point when you say: “What I'd suggest is to start researching the nutrients/herbs that strengthen the walls of blood vessels.” As a Holistic Health Practitioner, I keep “Prescription for Nutritional Healing” by James and Phyllis Balch at my fingertips. Here is what it has to say:
Calcium, Magnesium and Vitamin D
Needed to maintain proper muscle tone in the blood vessels. Use chelate forms. The Vitamin D aids the calcium uptake.
Calcium 1,500 mg daily taken at bedtime
Magnesium 750 mg daily taken at bedtime
Vitamin D 400 mg daily
Coenzyme Q10
Improves tissue oxygenation
100 mg daily
Essential Fatty Acids
Flaxseed oil is a good source. It reduces blood pressure, lowers cholesterol levels and helps to maintain proper elasticity of blood vessels. Be sure to use a product that contains vitamin E to keep the essential fatty acids from becoming rancid.
Take as directed on label
Garlic (Kyolic)
Has a lipid (fat) regulating effect.
Take as directed on label
Multi vitamin/mineral
All nutrients are needed for protection
Take as directed on label
Selenium
Promotes the action of Vitamin E
200 mcg daily
Vitamin A
A potent antioxidant and free radical scavenger. Use emulsion form for easier assimilation.
25,000 IU daily
Natural Beta-Carotene
An antioxidant and precursor of Vitamin A
15,000 IU daily
Vitamin E
Use emulsion form for easier assimilation
Start with 200 IU daily and increase by 200 IU each week until you reach 1,000 IU Daily
Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids
Antioxidant that acts as a free radical scavenger. Works with Vitamin E. Use a buffered form.
5,000 - 20,000 mg daily, in divided doses.
Choline
Aids in breaking down fat and expelling it from the body. Phosphatidyl choline is best.
Take as directed on label.
OR Lecithin Granules or Capsules
A good source of choline
Granules - 1 Tbsp 3-times daily
Capsules - 2,400 mg 3-times daily
Melatonin
A powerful antioxidant that also improves sleep
2-3 mg daily, taken 2 hours or less before bedtime
Multi Enzyme Complex
Important for proper digestion
take as diredted on label with meals
Pycnogenol
Possibly the most powerful free radical scavenger
50 mg twice daily
OR Grape Seed Extract
Enhances the action of Vitamin C and strengthens connective tissue, including that of the cardiovascular system.
L-cysteine
Promotes the burning of fat and the building of muscle
500 mg daily, on an empty stomach. Take with wateror juice. Do not take with milk. Take with 50 mg of Vitamin B6 and 100 mg of Vitamin C for better absorption.
AND L-methionine plus L-carnitine
Helps to prevent fatty buildup in the arteries. Protects the heart and lowers blood triglyceride levels.
L-methionine 500 mg daily on an empty stomach
L-carnitine 500 mg daily on an empty stomach
Vitamin B Complex
The B vitamins worth together as a complex
100 mg 3-times daily
PLUS extra Niacinamide
Dialates small arteries. Daution: do not substitute niacin for niacinamide.
100 mg 3-times daily
Zinc
Aids in cleansing and in the healing process. Use chelate forms
50 mg daily. Do not exceed a total of 100 mg daily from all supplements
Copper
Needed to balance with zinc
3 mg daily
Arteriosclerosis and Atherosclerosis
These involve the buildup of deposits on the insides of the artery walls, which cause thickening and hardening of the arteries. In arteriosclerosis, the deposits and composed largely of calcium; in atherosclerosis, the deposits consist of fatty substances.
Both conditions have about the same effect on circulation, causing high blood pressure and ultimately leading to angina (chest pain brought on by exertion), heart attack, stroke and/or sudden cardiac death.
The following HERBS are helpful if you suffer from arteriosclerosis: cayenne (capsicum), chickweed, ginko biloba extract, and hawthorn berries.
Citrin is an herbal extract that inhibits the synthesis of potentially dangerous fats in the body.
High Fiber Foods
Foods that are low in fat and cholesterol. Fruits, vegetables and grains should be your main foods.
Foods to Improve Circulation
Eat plenty of foods rich in vitamin E. Good choices include dark green leafy vegetables, legumes, nuts, seeds, soybeans, wheat germ, and whole grains.
Oil
Useonly pure cold-pressed olive oil as fats in the diet. These may aid in lowering cholesterol. Do not heat theil.
Water
Steam distilled water is best
AVOID
Candy, chips, fried foods, gravies, high-cholesterol foods, junk foods, pies, processed foods, red meat and saturated fats. Egg yolks, ine cream, salt and foods containing white flour and/or sugar. Do not use stimulants such as coffee, cola and tobacco. Also eliminate alcohol and highly spiced foods.
CONSIDERATIONS
In the Lifestyle Heart Trial study, eighteen of twenty-two people (82 percent) who adopted a vegetarian diet that restricted fate intake to 10 percent of total calories showed a significant regression of advanced coronary artery disease after one year. The diet also limited dietary cholesterol to no more than 5 mg per day. In contrast, most Americans consume 37 percent of their total calories as fats, and 300 to 500 mg of dietary cholesterol each day.
Kombucha Tea
May help to prevent and treat arteriosclerosis
DHEA
Dehydroepiandrosterone is a natural hormone that has been shown to help prevent hardening of the arteries
Chelation Therapy
Can breakup arterial plaque and improve circulation
Anticoagulants
Aspirin is often prescribed to make the blood less prone to clotting. For this to be effective, supplemental Vitamin K and foods rich in Vitamin K must be avoided.
Caveat
Naturally, I must say: Check all of this information out with David's team of physicians.
Listen with your heart,
- Laurie
Laurie -
I really feel that Terrill has given me the gift.
And thank you for all of your research on supplements. In my very humble opinion, if David and Terrill choose to go this path, I highly recommend a brand called Garden of Life. (I am not affiliated with them in any way.) They are created in integrity and contain whole foods as opposed to chemicals created in a laboratory. The difference is that our bodies recognize the supplements in the whole food form and do not always recognize the lab-created vitamins. In addition, there is a line of Garden of Life products called Vitamin Code that is raw, so they are not changed by a heating process. I take these myself and can't say enough about them. Of course this should all be cleared through David's doctors, but my doctor is a fan. : )
Much love to you all,
Katrina
I agree with Katrina about caution, whole and unadulterated is the best source.
For example vit c is found in orange juice, but there is something left in the discarded flesh of the orange that aids absorbtion of the vit c. Also omega 3 if you are taking supplements, too much omega 3 can cause liver damage, so don't take the supplements if you are already getting a supply in your food eg oily fish a few times a week I researched this when I was nursing. Seven Seas company were kind enough to send me a thick wad of their research. Best is a fresh source of whatever you need in your diet, it's cheaper, tastier and safer, there are times when supplements are necessary, but if you can get what you need in a healthy diet why bother. I learned the natural sources from a book called The Food Pharmacy, don't remember the author's name..
Sadly, in the past I have nursed people with permanent liver damage caused by excessive use of supplements.
Terrill, I am sorry sorry to hear about David. My thoughts are with you both. I hope he is recovering well and you are taking care of your needs as well.
I love the video you referenced. It is one of the things I watch over and over again when I need to remember how amazing our bodies are.
I will be thinking of the figure eights and pray his brain remembers it's other half and what a great relationship they used to have.
Peace, love and healing, Stephanie
Thanks everyone for the advice and support… I appreciate it all!
David went to rehab this afternoon and he is doing great. It is so different there and I feel like he is right were he needs to be and now David and “the team” can take the lead on what are the next best steps and help him to decide on his goals. I was determined to keep him motivated and moving forward while we waited for rehab but I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief that he now has experts in this area working with him. I'm told he will be there for 2 to 8 weeks. Just a little more… all David's facial expressions and little mannerisms have returned.
This morning when we went downstairs for a walk, he bought a newspaper (Vancouver Sun) and we sat on the grass under the trees reading it. I am not sure he read much but he sure enjoyed doing something that would be part of our usual routine. We then walked up the road toward the overpass. It was a bit quieter there and I could hear his right foot dragging and then all of a sudden it stopped dragging. He walked three or four steps then it dragged again. Then he walked quietly for a few more steps. I said “hey! you can hear your foot dragging and you are picking it up aren't you!?” He grinned and agreed - pleased that I had noticed.
By this evening he is walking on his own without standby assistance. I left him about 6:00 pm to put his clothes away and settle in to his new room.
Something amazing happened today energetically. When David stepped forward and shook hands with the worker who welcomed him to rehab I could feel and see him become energetically independent of me and become his whole and separate person again. I later thought of it being similar to when someone has hypothermia and you strip down and stuff both of you in a sleeping bag so you can use your body heat to warm them up. I think I was doing this except energetically for David. He is now standing (physically and energetically on his own… or at least in as much as any of us are). I think this will be my last “David update” as from here on the story will be his to tell - when and if he ever chooses.
Your support has been AMAZING over the past few weeks. Thank you! And thank you again! We are so blessed to have such a vibrant supportive community here on Gaia.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I am going to post a new blog when I get up to celebrate.
Laurie, I want to thank you extra special for moderating this blog for me… you have done an amazing job! I was so comfortable leaving the comments unanswered knowing that you would be swinging by. You are such a gem and I feel so fortunate to have you in my life. Big hug Terrill
Terrill - You are welcome; it has been my pleasure. I really, really enjoyed this piece of your final wrap up - WOW!
Something amazing happened today energetically. When David stepped forward and shook hands with the worker who welcomed him to rehab I could feel and see him become energetically independent of me and become his whole and separate person again. I later thought of it being similar to when someone has hypothermia and you strip down and stuff both of you in a sleeping bag so you can use your body heat to warm them up. I think I was doing this except energetically for David. He is now standing (physically and energetically on his own… or at least in as much as any of us are).
Wow to that part of it, too. If you were on a rescuer trip, Terrill, that would not have happened, or if it did, you would be distressed somehow. But then we sensed all along you were NOT on such a trip.
Blessings abounding,
OM
Hi OM,
You are so right about not being “on a rescuer trip”… I purposeful assisted from a place of being unattached to the outcome until I was clear about David's choice (and the universe's choice) that he was staying - then we went into healing mode with full force. I know exactly when that decision was made and it was about five hours before the Dr. told us he saw “no clouds on the horizon”. I was all of a sudden starving which is one of my body signals that the stressful part is over. I told my sister - “David is going to be fine. I'm famished, lets go get lunch.”
This experience gives new meaning to the old story of if you love someone set them free…
Terrill, it is a wonder to see the enlightened and truly compassionate way in which you are handling all concerned in this time. I can relate to how you felt when David took that seemingly small step.
traveling with you is really inspiring. So much love surrounding you and coming through you
much love, take care of yourself
Years ago you gave me a poster you owned and in return I will in spirit give it back to you at this moment in your life: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step / with a ruggad path, flanked with beatiful terrian on the side of the path. May you know that you and David do not travel or recover alone as you take each step in reassembling your lives after the heart attack . I send you both healing energy for your physical discomforts and comforting hugs as you both celebrate in having one another to cherish.
“Stay Strong N' Follow Your Destiny”
Well what a pleasant surprise!! (dragonfly3) Thank you for returning this poster in spirit:) You know my own copy of this poster which has been with me for many years turned up in a box I unpacked this summer. I put it in a place of honour on the inside door of my studio where I see face-to-face coaching clients and also do my art work.
“the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”
These words have rang true and offered strength so many times in my life… they bring with them much hope and possibility.
Thank you! Terrill
Psst! great news everyone - David is making a remarkable recovery. He is now walking and talking though he still has some brain swelling that is making word recall and memory a bit challenging. However, we have been given leave for a weekend pass and will be on the 4:10 pm ferry for Village Bay Mayne Island tonight. We will return to the rehabilitation unit of the hospital on Sunday evening just after dinner.
Wonderful weekend to you all and may I suggest taking some time for a stroll in this early fall weather:)
Wonderful news, dear friend!
I am so happy for you and David.
I am definitely going to take your suggestion, although it is spring here… smell some flowers and enjoy warmer weather. :)
Have an amazing weekend and know our thoughts are with you both.
I'm so happy to hear about the excellent progress and the weekend pass…wonderful!!
Wonderful, wonderful news! I am thrilled for both of you. [Laurie dancing jig!] Whoohoo!
OM with a big grin, and knowing it couldn't be any other way. Sending continued healing and uplifting energy,
and big hugs,
OM
glorious news! big hugs to the two of you
I Dance in Celebration, Wonderful news, Miss Terrill.
Holding you all in my Heart and Prayers still~~<3
This is such happy..wonderful news..my heart sings for the both of you..in gratitude for David's continued well being..healing and ever expanding being..
Giving thanks for the wonder that is you dear one..
Thank you for sharing this most sacred journey Terrill..
Love blessings and joy be with you both..
Ange..
David and I are now home - as in he is discharged from the hospital. We made the great escape a week ago Friday and we have enjoyed the most lovely sunny fall weather imaginable here on Mayne Island. Daily, we are continuing with word finding and strategy work together. We take long walks and trips to our small grocery store and to pick up the mail. We take long naps and plenty or time to “just be.”
In the future, there will be regular trips to the city to get blood pressure medication reviewed, and eventually trips to out patient services - but when the moon shines in the window, it shall find us snuggle together in our own home in our own bed.
Thank you everyone for all your support… thank you, thank you, thank you!
Terrill I just happen to be here right now…
Now can be such a kewl place, don't you think?
Thank You for sharing, dearest ones.
“David and I are now home - as in he is discharged from the hospital.” Terrill, this is music to my ears. Hip, hip, hooray!
Well, this is the harvest moon, of the romantic Sharad Poornima, so it's a lovely time for you two to snuggle together!
My heart rejoices for you both!! May the blessings continue unlimited!
OM
So, so, so very happy to hear the Good News, Terill!!!!
I continue to surround you both, all cuddly and snuggly, with Love and Light, warm and healing vibes, loving thoughts~~~<3
It's all on the up and up from here :)
Soooo much love~~<3
Wondrous awesome news to receive! I continue to send healing loving energy your way….
I am Love, Jeff
great news! i do look forward to seeing you two on nov 21. we shall have to plan more closely in a few weeks as it approaches. hugs
Oh, Terrill!
Such amazing news. I hope you both have a wonderful , peaceful week. Much love and thoughts. jodi
Yay!!!!!!!!
(((hugs))
Lovely Terrill…..
I am so sorry to hear of David's stroke and am late enough to be able to congratulate him on his release and ability to be with you once again at home. Please accept my apologies for my tardy entry, and know I am thinking of you both with love and healing energy.Although I am not here much, in spirit my friends at Gaia are my lifeline and part of my heart. This place is like no other, there is a comfort in the presence of friends.
Much love and hugs to you both,
aley
Wonderful wonderful news dear Terrill and David!!
I am so happy for you both..It is a blessing you are both together in your home..Beginning a new day together doing those things that bring you peace..joy and renewal..I wish you both well and pray giving thanks for David's continued healing..May you both be surrounded by an abundance of love..support and blessings together..
Thank you for sharing this good news..
In love and friendship
Ange..
So happy for you both…snuggled in and enjoying each moment.
Terrill, I sense a gentle warm light bathing you and your beloved
MWAH! Sending you a big hug and kiss from NY, Terrill. Thank you so much for sharing your extraordinary story with us. Wishing you and David infinite peace and love…
Katrina